I have been on an hiatus. I have gotten a bit off track. I think. I still haven't figured it out. I have been trying to figure out why God has given me such a desire to do something great in the world. Something that makes people see me and say "wow!" I thought I knew what it was and that I was on my way. But over the past year, I feel like I have gotten off track. As I sit here at work, I had a fleeting thought: Maybe what I was called to do for this season is to be a mom and a wife and to do it as well as I can. Maybe that is the grand thing that I have been called to. Can I be okay with that? When I am picking up dirty underware off the floor, impersonating a cow for the baby, wiping syrup off the kitchen table and explaining why my 3 yr old cannot have candy for breakfast, will I think I have "arrived?" Not too sure about that.
I confess, I look at what God has called my husband to and think "Wow, what fun that seems to be." I admit I get jealous. But it makes no sense because the grass is not greener on the other side and it's not what God has called HIM to do but US to do, eventhough my involvement is indirect.
All I want right now is to be fufilled. So badly do I want to be fufilled. I realized that it's not going to happen unless I do what God has called me to do and submit completely to His direction. The problem is I just don't know what that is. Do I work and bring income into my family? Do I stay home and take care of the home and manage our family? What do I do? I still don't know and it is uber fustrating.
I just had another baby. Yes, another one. She is adorable. Demanding but adorable! And now I find myself back where I was when my first daughter was born: feeling pushed aside and forgotten. Don't get me wrong, I am so greatful that my little one is healthy and happy and I am sure in a few months, I will not remember what life was like before her. But, it has not been easy to let go of the life I was just beginning to build. I was just coming out of the baby section in the sactuary and now, I am back there. I was just starting to get a good night's sleep and now, I am learning to function again on 3 or 4 hrs. I was starting to participate at the church and make new friends that began to develop into a family, and now I am wondering if I will do anything besides hold a screaming baby and feed demanding toddlers.
I hope I don't sound ungrateful because I am not. My pain in my words are the result of a season of streatching. God has called me to streatch again. Lord, I am willing but I am weak. Thank you for never leaving me nor foresaking me, especially during this year of letting go and letting you show me who you have made me to be and what you have made me to do. Thank you.
Mommy Maestro is a God-inspired vision to support mothers and wives of every fashion in bringing harmony to their home using biblical wisdom. Mommy Maestro: The Conductors of Harmony in the Home
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Parenting Pride
I am sitting here at my desk, scanning the posts on Baby Center and I realize how many people are so concerned about if the baby's name sounds right, whether they are having a boy or a girl (and being upset if they don't get the gender they want) and so many other interesting things. And then I had a thought: "How prideful one can be about parenting!"
When a couple gets pregnant, in their eyes, the child automatically becomes theirs. They feel as though they can do what they want to and for the child, they can say what they want to the child, they can treat the child how they want, etc. But what they all fail to realize is this child is not theirs. The child belongs to God. It is not a play toy or an image booster or anything of the sort. The child was born for God and given to us to help teach the child the ways of the His Kingdom and prepare them for the day that they hear God's voice calling. Some people wonder why it takes 9 (or so) months to have a baby. Maybe we are supposed to spend that time talking to God about the child. Finding out what His plans are for him/her, what He wants their name to be and how the child should be raised.
In biblical days, the family used to wait a period of time after the birth before they named the child. They would watch the child's mannerisms and named them appropriately. When Mary and Elisabeth were pregnant they knew the name of the child BEFORE the child was born. But how did they get that name? From God. He has a plan for all of us; as He is our creator and he knew us from the time we were in our mother's womb. Very often, when it's time for the plan to be revealed, we have to spend a considerable amount of time undoing what we learned when we were children instead of building upon it.
I implore every parent to really think about the purpose behind what they do for and say to their children. Ask yourself: What are you motives? Why do you do what you do and say what you say? Are you teaching your child the ways of God or are you teaching them what YOU think is right? For God to add children to your life is a great responsibility that can be fun and joyful when you follow His plan instead of parenting pridefully.
When a couple gets pregnant, in their eyes, the child automatically becomes theirs. They feel as though they can do what they want to and for the child, they can say what they want to the child, they can treat the child how they want, etc. But what they all fail to realize is this child is not theirs. The child belongs to God. It is not a play toy or an image booster or anything of the sort. The child was born for God and given to us to help teach the child the ways of the His Kingdom and prepare them for the day that they hear God's voice calling. Some people wonder why it takes 9 (or so) months to have a baby. Maybe we are supposed to spend that time talking to God about the child. Finding out what His plans are for him/her, what He wants their name to be and how the child should be raised.
In biblical days, the family used to wait a period of time after the birth before they named the child. They would watch the child's mannerisms and named them appropriately. When Mary and Elisabeth were pregnant they knew the name of the child BEFORE the child was born. But how did they get that name? From God. He has a plan for all of us; as He is our creator and he knew us from the time we were in our mother's womb. Very often, when it's time for the plan to be revealed, we have to spend a considerable amount of time undoing what we learned when we were children instead of building upon it.
I implore every parent to really think about the purpose behind what they do for and say to their children. Ask yourself: What are you motives? Why do you do what you do and say what you say? Are you teaching your child the ways of God or are you teaching them what YOU think is right? For God to add children to your life is a great responsibility that can be fun and joyful when you follow His plan instead of parenting pridefully.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Construction Zone: Imagination at Work
Where else, but in the eyes of a child, can magnetic alphabet letters become the main ingredients of a chocolate cake? In the world of make believe, anything can become anything! Just this morning I enjoyed the finest delicacies of my imaginative girls: hot dogs and beans (also known as cooking spoons) and chocolate cake (also known as magnetic letters).
"Mommy, whatcha want?" "Chocolate cake, please!" "Okay!" I sat down and ate happily. Then I helped by tapping into my God-given imagination: I found a few balls in their toy box that served as eggs, maracas that served as mixers and pretend coins that became butter before our very eyes.
God gave us our imaginations to do just that: Imagine that something that is not, as though it was. This imagination is what helps us to propel our faith and cause that which cannot be seen to manifest itself into our present day and future. God enjoys it when we meditate on His word and imagine it coming to pass in our lives. If we can see ourselves healed, delivered, free, rich, etc, then we are. Using our imagination allows God to show us things we would not have ever seen had we not took the time.
I have learned that the television can squash our imaginations. I am not saying that television is bad but sometimes it can cause us to turn off our minds and accept whatever we see. When I turn off the TV and pull out the toys, I have noticed that my girls' imagination starts to flow. And, believe it or not, God can show them things that they have never seen before!
"Mommy, whatcha want?" "Chocolate cake, please!" "Okay!" I sat down and ate happily. Then I helped by tapping into my God-given imagination: I found a few balls in their toy box that served as eggs, maracas that served as mixers and pretend coins that became butter before our very eyes.
God gave us our imaginations to do just that: Imagine that something that is not, as though it was. This imagination is what helps us to propel our faith and cause that which cannot be seen to manifest itself into our present day and future. God enjoys it when we meditate on His word and imagine it coming to pass in our lives. If we can see ourselves healed, delivered, free, rich, etc, then we are. Using our imagination allows God to show us things we would not have ever seen had we not took the time.
I have learned that the television can squash our imaginations. I am not saying that television is bad but sometimes it can cause us to turn off our minds and accept whatever we see. When I turn off the TV and pull out the toys, I have noticed that my girls' imagination starts to flow. And, believe it or not, God can show them things that they have never seen before!
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