It was all a blur. I am not sure what happened. I think my husband said that maybe we should NOT have the girls in daycare for two days a week. What? Did I hear right?
Yes, I heard right. So, I dropped the girls off this morning at daycare for the last time. When I told the Assistant Director that it was their last day, I cried. I don't know why but the tears kept coming.
I think my spirit was saying "YES! This is exactly what you need: full-time mommy-hood!" But my soul was screaming "Wait, wait, that happened way too fast! Can't we talk about this first? Can't we first be sure that we're sure this is what we are supposed to do?"
But I am sure; as sure as I am going to be. God has been encouraging me and equipping me from the day He put the desire to be a SAHM in my heart two years ago. My soul (a.k.a. flesh) hadn't yet submitted to it completely but, frankly, I don't think it every will. For that reason, included in the plan of full-time mommy-hood is my prayer time first thing in the morning. This is when I am to pour out to Him any frustrations, uncertainties, or worries. You know, cast my cares upon Him and take up all of His promises and joy. I have to get that stuff off of me to make sure I am free from the cares of this world and ready to attack the day with my little ones with expectancy and energy.
A tired, worried, and distracted mommy + two needy toddlers = disaster.
Wow. What a step of faith. I feel like I need to say to the Lord, just like my girls say to me: "Look, Jesus, look! Look at me! I did it!"
"Now, I'm trusting You."
1 comment:
This is awesome...
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